Greetings
When traveling to France, it is essential to be aware of cultural customs and etiquette. Greetings are the first point of interaction when you meet someone, so it is important to be conscious of the appropriate etiquette. Some general tips regarding greetings in France include shaking hands, kissing on both cheeks, and maintaining good eye contact.
Let’s explore some more customs and etiquette related to greetings in detail:
Handshakes
Handshakes are common in France, and it is a polite gesture to offer your hand first. The typical handshake involves less firmness and pumping than it does in the U.S. A dry, limp handshake is generally accepted as a standard in France.
Women usually touch cheeks in place of shaking hands, especially when men are present; however, two women may shake hands if they are not close friends or family members.
Eye contact should be held during the handshake. If you want to give an even more important greeting, you can do a two-handed handshake, cupping the right hand with the left over the right rather than below it. If a hug is offered, it is polite to reciprocate gently, as an occasional embrace between friends and family members is common among French men and women alike.
Kissing On the Cheeks
Kissing on the cheeks is one of the most common ways of greeting in France, with one to four kisses on alternating cheeks, depending on the region. However, it is important to note that waiting for the other person’s lead is best. For example, if someone offers you a handshake, you should shake hands, or if someone offers you a hug, you should embrace them in return.
Two kisses are typical in many areas of France, and this greeting is done upon meeting and departing.
In most cases, when kissing during a greeting, it is also customary to say “bonjour/Bonsoir” (hello/good evening) or wish each other “bonnes journées” (have a nice day). In some places (particularly Provence and Mediterranean cities), however, they may say “a bise” (“bises” = plural) instead, which simply means “kisses.” This choice of words allows people who do not know each other well enough to exchange two kisses without speaking.
As an alternate option for those who feel awkward about not knowing how many kisses are expected in specific regions or for skilled professionals who need a quick yet culturally respectful form of greeting their business counterparts, handshakes can be exchanged coupled with verbal greetings such as “Bonjour Monsieur/Madame,” followed by a brief exchange of pleasantries.
Dining Etiquette
Etiquette is an integral part of French culture, and it is crucial to understand the customs and etiquette related to dining when you are in France. French meals are typically served in courses, with diners taking their time to enjoy and savor each dish.
We will take a look at the dining etiquette and customs of France, so you can enjoy your meals and not have to worry about making any faux pas:
Table Manners
The French are particular about table manners, and you should always act with decorum when dining in France. Here are some general tips for observing proper etiquette:
- Always arrive on time for meals. If you are running late, call ahead and inform the host of your estimated arrival time.
- Greet your hosts with a handshake and kiss (on both cheeks) when invited to someone’s home for a meal.
- It is considered inappropriate to begin eating until the host takes the first bite.
- Respect the French custom of not speaking while eating; conversations should be kept brief to avoid disturbing other diners.
- Table settings may seem elaborate. However, all utensils have a specific purpose. Observe which utensils were used during the meal; if unsure, watch what other diners do or ask your host or server for guidance. Once seated, keeping your napkin on your lap is acceptable throughout the meal.
- French restaurants may serve large portions – they want customers to be satisfied! It can vary depending on where you’re eating, so observe other patrons and don’t feel like you have to finish everything – it’s expected that some food will be left over.
- If you need additional items such as salt or pepper, ask politely instead of reaching across someone else’s plate for condiments; these items will come in their separate dish or bowl when served family style if necessary.
- Bread plates and serving dishes should not be passed around person to person; ask staff members formally for assistance since servers attend meals at larger gatherings but discretely stay out of view otherwise.
- Avoid loud declarations such as “cheers!” when making a toast; gently clinking glasses together is acceptable at more informal gatherings among friends. However, avoid this gesture in formal settings such as fine restaurants or business meetings.
Toasting
When it comes to toasting, the French take it seriously. Toasting, or le lever de coude (the raising of elbows), is an integral part of a formal meal in France, and you will be expected to participate. However, there are a few rules that you should be aware of:
- You should wait for the host to initiate the first toast and then echo him/her.
- When clinking glasses, ensure that your glass does not hit the side of the other person’s glass too hard – doing so is considered bad luck.
- Everyone should drink their beverage at each toast, but moderation is required – it is supposed to be enjoyable, not excessive!
- When others are making toasts at a longer table gathering, you can stand up slightly from your chair and nod or raise your glass in acknowledgment if you don’t have anything to add.
- The host traditionally raises a final toast at the end of the meal as an acknowledgment that all shared have enjoyed the time spent together over food and drink and usually includes wishes for good health and fortune in the future.
Gift Giving
Gift-giving is an essential custom in France and is often seen as a way to show respect and courtesy. Gifts should be thoughtful and taste good, usually with a French cultural theme. It is also important to give the gift in person, accompanied by a handwritten note expressing your appreciation.
Let’s look more closely at France’s etiquette for gift-giving:
Appropriate Gifts
Gift-giving is an essential part of French culture, and you can expect to be presented with a gift if attending a dinner party or other gathering. Generally speaking, the more expensive or thoughtful the gift, the more appreciated it would be. However, giving something slightly more modest is often better, as gifts are meant to show sincere appreciation rather than demonstrate wealth or status.
When selecting a gift for a French friend, consider their likes and interests as well as their culture to determine an appropriate item.
Common gifts may include flowers or good quality chocolates such as Godiva, although it is essential not to bring alcohol in case your host doesn’t drink. Small items like soaps and candles are also popular; avoid intensely fragranced scents if you don’t know their preferences. Alternatively, books (especially those from popular authors in France) make ideal gifts for people who enjoy reading. Whatever you select should be well-wrapped for presentation purposes; usually, tissue paper will suffice, but an elegant box always adds something special!
Gift Wrapping
When giving gifts in France, presentation is significant. Gifts should always be beautifully wrapped and presented with a card, so the recipient knows who it is from. Typical French gift wrapping includes cellophane paper and a ribbon to complete the look.
Giving gifts in France can sometimes be seen as uncomfortable if you spend too much money or time on packaging. But on the other hand, attractive yet straightforward wrapping will show that you put effort into choosing and presenting the gift – but not too much, as this could come off as flashy or ironic in some cases.
Packaging may also depend on the recipient’s age, and sometimes a personalized card with a small handwritten note can make all the difference. Since the ceremony is such an essential aspect of French culture, ensure that your gift is accompanied by an attribute, either verbal or written to express gratitude and esteem to your host or employer (depending on who it is for).
Other customs include:
- Leaving the present unwrapped until it is opened enables both parties to enjoy one another’s company before opening presents.
- Providing small talk about what was received rather than being rushed through opening presents afterward.
The best way to demonstrate good etiquette when presenting gifts in France is to follow common social courtesy – and don’t forget that presentation matters!
Conversation
The French typically prefer more formal conversations, so it is important to use respectful language and maintain good eye contact. French conversations should always start with a handshake and pleasantries, often taking time to “catch up” before jumping into the main topics. It is also essential to know who you are talking to and the appropriate language, as French can be pretty formal and use a lot of technical and/or abstract language.
Appropriate Topics
Navigating conversations with someone of French origin can be tricky. However, appreciating the country’s culture and customs can make the experience more enjoyable.
French people are proud of their language, and most are keen to converse as formally as possible, so it is important not to discuss delicate topics such as religion, money, or politics. It is also wise to avoid clashes between opposite political views and to steer the conversation away from controversial subjects like immigration or same-sex marriage.
Some appropriate topics for discussion might include:
- French cuisine
- National parks and attractions
- Local festivals and events
- Trendy films, books, music, or theater
- Sports clubs (especially football)
- French architectural landmarks
- Standard terms related to business dealings in France.
Avoiding Controversial Topics
When conversing with a French person, it is crucial to be aware of their culture and customs to make a positive impression. For example, in France, politeness demands that you remain calm while talking – any sign of anger or aggression will not be appreciated. Furthermore, it is best to avoid discussing topics that are viewed as controversial, such as religion or immigration.
It is typical for conversations in France to include a lot of small talk and details about your life that may not be applicable elsewhere. Lastly, the French habitually cut people off mid-sentence or state their opinion before another person can finish speaking.
Dress Code
In France, following the dress code to fit in with the customs and culture is essential. Knowing the appropriate dress code for different occasions and being mindful of the accepted norms will help you navigate French. Dressing the part will be particularly important for professional or business settings and regional areas, where you may be judged for your dress.
In this section, we will examine the dress code in France and how to best adhere to it:
Appropriate Attire
France has always been fashion-conscious, and both French men and women value personal style expressed in their everyday dress, both formal and casual. Therefore, understanding the country’s dress codes and etiquette is important to locals and visitors.
The general rule of thumb is that it is considered appropriate to wear classic, sophisticated styles when out in public, even when dressing casually. However, many parts of France have a more conservative approach to clothing than other countries like the United States or Australia.
Appropriate Attire: When going out, most people will look their best and aim for a certain level of sophistication. For example, men often wear collared shirts when going out, although sports-style jerseys are acceptable if they are clean and not overly baggy or tattered. Women tend to opt for more feminine styles, such as dresses or skirts with tops that flatter their body shape. Jeans can be worn but should be paired with structured dress shoes rather than sneakers or flip-flops, which are more suitable for casual occasions.
For formal occasions such as weddings, a black tie attire is expected from all guests, often tuxedos for men and long evening gowns or cocktail dresses for women accompanied by high heels.
Avoiding Cultural Faux Pas
When you arrive in France, one of the most important pieces of a cultural protocol is following dress codes. Although the country is becoming increasingly relaxed in some settings, it’s still essential to know what type of clothing you should and shouldn’t wear while in France.
It’s best to keep a few rules kept in mind when visiting the country:
- Avoid wearing too casual clothing, including sweatpants, shorts, flip-flops, and t-shirts, unless you’re at a beach or a pool.
- For men, always wear collared shirts with trousers; long trousers are preferable even when it’s hot outside.
- Women should avoid low-cut tops and short skirts and opt for skirts or trousers rather than shorts.
- Opt for classy dresses when attending formal occasions such as weddings or parties; during very informal gatherings, smart casual attire might be acceptable.
- When choosing accessories to compliment your outfit, keep them simple and understated. The locals will not appreciate flashy jewelry and ostentatious handbags.